First time posting in 10 years ...holy hell a lot has happened since the last time I was on here.

Wow. 

Where to begin?

First off, I need to come back to this thing daily, so I can have a reminder on what I should be doing more and less of while staying focused. 

I need help and don't know how to ask. I'm quick to point out the shortcomings of others, at times, without holding myself to a higher standard. This is unacceptable. 

Last night, I took out whatever is going on inside my head on someone over a simple Social Media post. I purposely went out of my way to be a jerk and for what? The point that was being made was dumb and unnecessary. The gentleman whose Facebook page I went off on is quite a nice fella. He's a father to his kids, a friend to many in the community, and overall, someone who deserves to be treated with respect. I woke up this morning with last night's actions on my mind. At first, I started to go back to sleep until the realization of everything set in. An apology was made while accountability was had but, to me ...and maybe this is me overthinking things, it didn't feel like it was enough. Marvin Kinney is someone who welcomed me into his life and I took it for granted. 

I'm sorry for acting the way I did, Marvin. I don't expect, anticipate you to forgive me. You're a human being much like the rest of us. You deserve kindness not what was offered last night. I will make sure to do better in the days ahead. 

I just sent this to him. You can and will do better, Chris Payne. Stop being a prick for no reason. People make mistakes. It's not your responsibility to correct everything.